“What’re you in for?” “I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it.” “We’ve all been there, brother.”
The Devil has his own Bible. He’s releasing it slowly in internet comment threads all across the web.
You Might Also Like
I wonder if caterpillars know they’re gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like ‘why am I doing this’.
Be to, or be not to, the question, that is.
– Yoda does Hamlet
If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows.
look I don’t know what your problem is but I’ve got extra if you need to borrow one
me: all my underwear is black, like my soul
also me: OH MY GOD IS THAT A PUPPY? IT’S SO PRECIOUS!!!! WHO’S A GOOD BOY YOU’RE A GOOD BOY! YES YOU ARE
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
KFC Cashier: I hope your family enjoys this 12 piece meal
My daughter just said, “I love you Mommy, you are beautiful like a pizza” and now I’m crying because that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.