@Underchilde: The Dirty Dancing lift, except I’m throwing her off a cliff.
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@JimmerThatisAll: The problem with Chinese food is an hour later you feel like hacking the Pentagon again.
@StephenAtHome: Wonder Woman is in theaters June 2nd. But if you want a sneak preview, watch Sally Yates' performance in front of the Senate.
@simoncholland: Me: You know, one nice thing about being snowed in all weekend is we haven't had to spend any money. Wife: (clicking add to cart) So nice.
@tuckerflodman: *Snowman wakes up in hospital* "What happened to me?!" Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did?