We are being punished for our hubris, for building entire factories dedicated to nothing but cheesecake.
The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
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I bet when spiders see those fake green cob webs on Halloween they must be like “Ugh, tourists”.
If I ever run out of food, I can survive for 3 or 4 days on the stuff stuck to the walls of my microwave.
Client said she needs to “find her zen” during our mediation and I don’t think she knows that mediation and meditation are two diff things.
One of the little birds that used to dress me in the morning just asked for a reference letter and it’s like mm don’t fully remember you tho
I heard you like bad boys?
*jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour*
interviewer: what is ur weakness?
me: follow up questions
interview: care to elaborate?
me: [quivers with fear]
In Hell, you’re surrounded by people saying ‘suposably’ and ‘irregardless.’
Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means?
Me: We have to be quick!
*Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*
Tried arguing on the internet today.
Wouldn’t recommend it.
0 out of 5 stars.