@welfarehoe: CW: What'd you have for breakfast? Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios? Me: No.

@Barknado69: Avril Lavigne: he was a boy, she was a girl. Could I make it any more obvious? Me: *still pretty clearly confused* please do

@EJT___: When I was younger, I always wanted to become a Gregorian monk. Unfortunately, I never had the chants

@davedittell: "anything new with you?" not really "any cool projects at work? nope "meeting with friends?" no "seeing anybody?" why are you doing this?

@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.