@Marlebean

The extra hour from Daylight Saving Time gave me the opportunity to get so much more housework done!

I didn’t do any of it.
But I certainly had the opportunity.

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@MyHairyLife

I will not eat a donut.
I will not eat a donut.
I will not eat…

I will not eat a third donut.
I will not eat a third donut.

@MoneypennyNaked

Me: Look! I took the giant box that the t.v. came in & made it into a really cool cat house!

Mom: So you’re still not dating anyone, I see.

@CornOnTheGoblin

thunderbolt and lightning
very, very frightening me
(mashed potatoes) mashed potatoes
(mashed potatoes) mashed potatoes

@kissimoose

So a 12 year old told me it’s a good idea to have a bourbon cake. I’ll take no questions at this time.

@rolldiggity

New Parent Idea:
1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest.
2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he’s 10.

@iamspacegirl

me: ah, now I will drift gently off to dreamland.

refrigerator: I SHALL MAKE US SOME ICE CUBES

@Rollinintheseat

Interviewer: “Are you good at making snap decisions?”

*20 minutes later*

Me: “No.”