All of my friends are in love and I’m still on my own but I’m not gonna feel bad for them.
The fact that he hasn’t texted back in a week, only tells me he is madly in love with me.
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Girl, are you a microwave? Cause I wanna put a baby in you.
To whoever hacked all the Yahoo accounts, please email me my Myspace login info. It’s in there somewhere…
Overheard in 2nd grade class today:
“Do your work! Santa’s watching right now.”
“Yeah, my mom told me that ship has sailed for me long ago.”
Role playing in the bedroom was fun until my wife gave me a speeding ticket.
you tellin me a shrimp fried this rice
I like making babies… Unsuccessfully, of course.
Germany defeats Argentina… France surrenders.