Newsflash KIDS: The woman who paid for the fries gets to “steal” as many as she wants.
The fact that this peanut butter jar states that it “Contains Peanuts” makes me extremely nervous for the human race.
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My memory is horrible but I remember every person I loaned a book to that didn’t return it.
[playing 7 minutes in heaven]
doctor: ok lol plug him back in now
Does Chewbacca use body wash or just shampoo and conditioner?
Batman: Why so down?
Aquaman: People think I’m not a real superhero. I’m tired of being walked all over.
UK: we call them films, after the traditional recording process using photographic film
USA: WE CALL THEM MOVIES BECAUSE THEM PHOTOS MOVE
The most unbelievable part about Sesame Street (a show with an 8 foot bird) is that there is only one grouch in the whole neighborhood.
During A$AP Rocky’s hearing today in Sweden he was asked if he goes by any nicknames.
His response: “Yes, Rocky, A$AP Rocky, pretty motherf*cker”
me: *having prostate examination*
doc: omg, when was this last wiped?
doc: *pointing to dust on table* i must speak to the cleaning lady
Mocking commerce students is all fun and games until you realise you have no financial knowledge and you make arguments like “uBeR hAS a nEt WoRtH oF 100B$”.