The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
You Might Also Like
I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.
Whenever I’m in the mood for a bowl of wet meat and vegetables, I always choose Soup.™
[After my death]
WIFE: Please! Just give me a sign it’s my husband
*the ouija board literally does nothing of any significance*
WIFE [tearing up] omg it’s him!!
Orion’s belt? Waist of space!
*roundhouse kicks neighbor’s mailbox into street*
I DO NOT LIKE FAKE BARNS
How do I tell a guy that I’m only interested in him because I’d like to take selfies with his puppy?
Me: This milk tastes funny
Lactating clown: Thank you
Biden: Told Trump about Carter’s ghost in the West Wing
Obama: Carter is still alive
Biden: He doesn’t know that
I don’t always whoop.
But when i do.. there it is