The first rule of kite club is you do not talk about Benjamin Franklin.

You Might Also Like


How many pans of brownies eaten gets me the Girl Scout badge for gluttony?


First date
Me: when you said you were a WWF fanatic, I thought you meant Words with Friends

Him:(in tights) YOU’RE GOING DOWN *flips table*




I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.


A pregnant lady, except it’s me smuggling king sized candy into the movies for 6 kids and saving $278.


I like to say “Have a great day” before the cashier has a chance to. Power move.


WEBSITE: You must be legal age to view this content. What year were you born?

ME AT 13: [Playing it safe] 623 BC


5yo: dad how many teeth do I have to lose to buy a tv?

Me: *doing zero math* uh like a thousand

5yo: do I have a thousand teeth?

Me: haha not quite

5yo: *just glares at his little brother*


“The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-”

“Juror is dismissed”