@kibblesmith: The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey
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@simoncholland: Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story.
@UncleDuke1969: [tattoo parlor] “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?” “You said you wanted something that said that life is all about taking-“ “Wisks!” “Right. That’s why I-” “I’m weally disappointed.”
@stevemarriott: [McDonalds board meeting] CEO: We need some mascots that cater to children. Kids love clowns, criminals and eggplants right?