@isabelzawtun

The Golden Girls is the most relatable TV show for a millenial, as I too will be renting with several roommates until I’m 80

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@OrignalceQueen

When I was your age, I was outside all day until dark

15: The batteries on cell phones must have been a lot better back then

Me: ………

@ItsAllBollocks

Guy: *slides into my DMs* hi
Me: *opens back door so he slides straight back out* bye

@SthembileSimel5

Midrand traffic is caused by married men who don’t want to go home after work..

@TheAlexNevil

WIFE: Did you take care of that thing I asked you to do?
ME: No.
WIFE: I’ve asked you at least 10 times.
ME: I’ll get it done this afternoon.
WIFE: You better.
ME (terrified): [has no idea what she asked me to do.]

@elunatyk

Why no, Google Maps, I don’t want to save 4 minutes on my trip by driving through the Mines of Moria, but thank you very much for asking.

@Arroia

Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn’t like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.

@AimeeHelene1

DON’T INTERRUPT ME!!!

(me, in a drunken argument with your dog)

@qwertying

A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? Father: No, some begin with – If elected I promise..