When I was your age, I was outside all day until dark
15: The batteries on cell phones must have been a lot better back then
The Golden Girls is the most relatable TV show for a millenial, as I too will be renting with several roommates until I’m 80
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Guy: *slides into my DMs* hi
Me: *opens back door so he slides straight back out* bye
Midrand traffic is caused by married men who don’t want to go home after work..
WIFE: Did you take care of that thing I asked you to do?
WIFE: I’ve asked you at least 10 times.
ME: I’ll get it done this afternoon.
WIFE: You better.
ME (terrified): [has no idea what she asked me to do.]
Why no, Google Maps, I don’t want to save 4 minutes on my trip by driving through the Mines of Moria, but thank you very much for asking.
Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn’t like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.
My mom made this meme don’t let her down
DON’T INTERRUPT ME!!!
(me, in a drunken argument with your dog)
A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? Father: No, some begin with – If elected I promise..
So you’re all Obama fans now? Name 3 of his albums.