@BoomBoomBetty: The grocery store really hates it when you ask to try on the turkeys and shove your fist inside them up to your elbow.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: DOCTOR: You need to excercise portion control. ME: Thank God. For a second I thought you said I needed to exercise.
@LurkAtHomeMom: Mom: how's therapy Me: ok. my anxiety is better Mom: great Me: yeah Mom: Me: Mom: so did u get the article I sent u about the flesh eating b
@turtledumplin: Before he leaves for work, my husband whispers the 3 words I love to hear him say... "I made coffee"
@AbbieEvansXO: Pulling out my pony tail and taking off my glasses, I turn to the mirror to see if I’ve become a hot girl and gasp at the transformation – no more a homely nerd, I am now a blurry blob