@Playing_Dad: The guy who thought up Super Mario must have had a very complicated relationship with turtles
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@funflaps: When you wish upon a star your feet burst into flame and you realize it was a dumb place to stand.
@PleaseBeGneiss: SANTA: *sees presents under Christmas tree already* what the? someone beat me to it [a light glows in the corner] ALEXA: what’s the matter, old sprite, not in your... prime?
@ginger_xtc: build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.