@kah_mee_lah: the h in university stands for happiness
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@Mindless4Miles: Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that.
@BlindChow: [hospital] Looks like ur Vine went viral. "Yay!" Sorry ur VEIN went viral…you have a fatal blood disease. "So wait–my Vine didn't go viral?"
@Marcmywords2: Hey Dad, The airport called, if you don't turn down your TV, they're filing a complaint.
@SondraDeeMe: My boyfriend called my skirt a petticoat and now he's paying bills using a quill on parchment paper wearing his wooden false teeth.