The hoodie & shorts combo outfit, because you almost understand how body heat works.

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Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife’s office Christmas party.


I bought this 3 years ago without realizing what was on it and wore it to my daughter’s school play 😂😂


My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money


“I’m sorry I named my daughter ‘Paige.’ It seemed funny at the time.”
– a confession of Nat Turner


My husband came home with pizza sauce on his collar and no pizza and now I know what it’s like to be cheated on.


I had my leg X-rayed today.
The doctor said: ‘Your patella measures 2.54cm’.
I said: ‘Inch-high knees?’
He said: ‘?????2.54???.’


The real power of a man…
Is the size of the smile on his woman’s face sitting next to him.


BRITISH COMPANY: *gives free estimates*

AMERICAN COMPANY: *gives free estifriends*


Too bad they cancelled the Chicago Marathon I was going to run it this year