Oceanography is all about current events
SO MUCH BLOOD!
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
-It’s raining men.
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Does Chewbacca use body wash or just shampoo and conditioner?
My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said “WTF man, it’s 2015. You can use whatever printer you want.”
I think that news channel only hired you as a weather forecaster so they could see you get hit by a stop sign in a hurricane.
Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror.
Flipped over my therapist’s writing pad and it was just a New York Times crossword with “shut up” written in every blank.
What if the missing plane is still up there?
Did you check the sky?
See, this is why you’ll never advance, Kevin.
*gives joke answer to daughter’s 75th consecutive question*
[20 years later, she’s in an office] “Everyone knows the moon was built in 1973”