@DrakeGatsby: The interesting thing about stabbing somebody in the chest with a giant sharpened stick is it will kill them whether they’re a vampire or just a regular dude
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@AnnaKendrick47: "I don't know, sometimes I just wish there was a room you could sit in that made breathing harder." - inventor of the sauna
@StarWarsProblms: Rey: Why do you hide behind a mask? Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on.
@EddieMcSugarnut: I'm just a naked guy in an elm tree noticing the creepy way you stare at me through your bathroom window.
@Browtweaten: Wife: You're not using the instructions to build the bookcase? Husband: Nope, I'm doing it entirely shelf-taught, haha Wife: *eyes fixate on hammer*