@DrakeGatsby: The interesting thing about stabbing somebody in the chest with a giant sharpened stick is it will kill them whether they’re a vampire or just a regular dude
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@FU_TangClan: Mufasa: my son, present your first antelope kill Simba: *hiding cantaloupe behind his back* my what now Scar: *whispering* lmao I’m the lyin’ king
@AbbyHasIssues: A group of crows is called a murder. A group of people walking slowly in front of me at the store is called a motive.
@ericsshadow: I wear the same 2 Halloween costumes every year. I start off as a "ghost" and end up as a "drunk ghost that needs a ride home."
@LurkAtHomeMom: 3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?