@T_Bonezzz_

The inventor of the tampon liked it, so he put a string on it

The inventor of the tampon liked it, so he put a string on it

- @T_Bonezzz_

You Might Also Like

@lmwortho

You: I’m so hard on myself.

People on the internet: Hold my beer.

@GinAndJif

A guy just revved his engine and drove off really quick so I had to chase him for three miles to tell him I don’t want to have sex with him.

@RidiculousSheri

You know what cats don’t like? Blow dryers.

You know what’s funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat.

Anyway, I lost an eye today.

@iwearaonesie

mom: no TV for a week!
dad: and after you take a bath you can’t use your hands to get out of the tub
*sons jaw drops*
mom: [whispers] nice

@ericsshadow

Winning an argument with a woman is like getting 1st prize in a “who wants to sleep on the couch” contest.

@C3Ballin

Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe.

@ericacanrant

Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*

@AndrewChamings

Got kicked out of my motorcycle gang again for trying to sell essential oils