The irony of the gay pride flag is that it clashes with everything.

You Might Also Like


HER: Do you have any funny dating stories?

ME: [thinking about the time I wrote 2007 when it was actually 2008] Just one


ME: My name is Nigel and I’m an alcoholic.
AA GROUP: Hi Nigel.

*cut to confessional camera*

ME: I’m here to WIN, not to make friends.


Me: the refrigerator wasn’t built for this

Her: all the food?

Me: no this penguin


*Makes joke on Twitter*


*Makes same joke on Facebook*

*5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*


Him: “What’s your body count?”

Me: “For what?”

Him: “People you’ve slept with…”

Me: “Ohhh! I thought you saw the basement…”

Him: “What?”

Me: “What?”


GAME TRAILER: “Enter a world beyond belief…”

ME: “Yes”

GAME TRAILER: “An adventure like never before…”


GAME TRAILER: “Join your friends online”

ME: “I’m out”


Wife: I took a pregnancy test

Me: positive?

Wife: yes Graham, I’m sure I pissed on a stick