@racheltacobell: the lights on this hospital in my hometown have gone out in a majorly unfortunate way :/
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@pharmasean: "I just figured the 'H' was broken on your sign" Nope, this is what I sell here. Now how many Doug nuts do you want?
@hippieswordfish: spot whats sandpaper like? dog: ruff whats the long grass on a golf course called? d: ruff whats the job market like? d: steadily improving
@nickbilton: My son (4 years old), who has grown up watching us talk to Siri and Alexa, thinks you can talk to anything that has a screen or is plugged into the wall. This morning he told the toaster to order him a new lego set.
@Reverend_Scott: "Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist." It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse.