I love Yahoo Answers because no matter how bizarre my question, someone in the world has already thought of it. And thats really comforting.
The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I’m in charge of her ponytail in the mornings.
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“Hi there. So what do you do?”
“DO YOU HAVE ANY SPEED OR WHAT?”
my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri “What do women want?” She has been talking nonstop for the last two days.
Here’s a little song about post-Christmas cleanup it’s called “Where the Hell Are We Going to Put All This Shit” and a one and a two
I still have a toilet paper stash leftover from Y2K.
Me: I really like her. What should I do?
Friend: Give her the time of day.
Me: It’s 2 PM.
A werewolf is chasing you. You’re on a Segway. The werewolf is too. Both batteries are dying, and the chase gets slower and slower.
GF: *vomiting in sink* Ugh morning sickness
Me: Wait. . . wh-what?
GF: I’m pregnant
Me: Woah, slow down. Why did you call me sickness?
3 days ago I ate my daughters’s m&m’s while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate ’em She’s still mad at the cat. Dumb kid.