@The_JRM: The main reason I tell my daughter that beauty is on the inside is because I'm in charge of her ponytail in the mornings.
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@AnkCoupleTO: Just saw Samuel L. Jackson order a couple of bagels. He paid for them and said thank you so basically now my whole life is ruined
@Petote: Just because I am an Italian American doesn't mean my family is in the mob.... It means we used to be.
@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.
@PleaseBeGneiss: [seafood restaurant] CHEF: where are my shellfish?! ME: *sneaking Prawn Solo and Luke Sidewalker out the door* quick, the rebel alliance needs you