Why is it called “reading a book” and not paper view?
The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car
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Him: I really like your car
H: What is it?
Daughter yells “I love bananas, the bigger the better”.
Wife and I laugh hysterically,
Then I die a little inside.
I hate when The Little Mermaid is all “who cares no big deal I want more!” Like, you already have 20 thingamabobs you aquatic scumbag relax
When people start a sentence with “believe it or not” I’m like wow, those are two very good options
Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you’ll be deaf by the time you’re 20
People think I’m a good listener because I am quiet when they’re talking, but really I’m just thinking of how I can create a diversion and run away.
*walks up to Michael Cohen’s door*
“THE POLLS. ALL OF THEM.”
Winter can cause potentially deadly situations like icy roads, hypothermia, and the much feared man cold.