The name’s Bondjamesbond. James Bondjamesbond.

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I dont get laid nearly enough for someone who can name five different types of pokemon.


Stuffed animals are strange like an actual tiger will tear you to pieces but here ya go kid, sweet dreams.


Wolverine: You know what I can’t heal?
Jean: What Logan?
Wolverine: A broken heart

*professor x starts laughing from the other room*


Damn it
Damn it
Damn it
(Stabs it)
Damn it

– me trying to eat with chopsticks.


Me: you seem disappointed

Dracula: *holding a bloody Mary* it’s fine, I’m fine


I don’t want to give away my exact locale but I’ll just say I can see the moon from my kitchen. Please don’t abuse this info.


*hits bong*

*abuses bong*

*bong calls bong protection agency*

*bong custody taken*

*bong put in foster home*

*bong misses old life*


[sits backwards in chair so i look cool]
date: you’re gonna miss the movie


The human race won’t go extinct when our blood turns into high fructose corn syrup

Our demise will come when hummingbirds figure it out