@vvolfsz

The nominees are

Leonardo DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio

And the winner is

*opens envelope*

mad max fury road

You Might Also Like

@CorkyKneivel

Ever meet one of these people that makes everything a competition? I’ve met more.

@dumbbeezie

Goodnight everyone except the guy who invented that thing that shows that you are typing something

@infinitesimull

Please insert your card
Do not remove card
Do not remove card
Do not re–
REMOVE CARD NOW! REMOVE IT NOW! OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRAZY GET IT OU

@iamdevinwagner

My girlfriend lives over 200 miles away serving life in prison and she just killed her cell mate, 3 guards, broke out and held an Uber driver at gun point for a 4 hour drive just to come see me for an hour. IF THEY WANNA SEE YOU THEY’LL MAKE THE EFFORT

@SlothSlouch

They say dress for the job you want, so here I am, causally dressed as the moon

@JoParkerBear

The past couple of nights, I’ve been partying like it’s 1999. But it’s not 1999. It’s 2018, and my body is furious.

@unrealRichardC

Beep beep
Beep beep beep
Beep beep
Beep
Beep beep beep beep
Road Runner and R2D2 having a conversation

@TVsCarlKinsella

FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous.
SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.

@Rollmaninoz

Police Officer: Son I have some terrible news, your father was killed at work today when he fell into the scissor machine.

Dwayne Johnson: *grits teeth* …I will dedicate my life to avenging him!

@Sarcasmo718

The Taliban heavily overestimates the need for monkey-bar training.