@2facedshepherd

The Notebook (2004) A stranger harasses a nursing home resident with stories about people she doesn’t know (PG-13 2hr 3min)

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@RandomManik

Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love.

@drankturpentine

I dropped a total of 13 pounds over the weekend and no longer work in the maternity ward

@iAmDelFreaky

Me: I wonder what the wicked witch’s name is.

7: Ding Dong.

Me: What?

7: The song says, Ding Dong the Witch is dead.

Me: Oh. My. God. 😂

@lizetagge

Positive thinking comes in all shapes and sizes at your nearest liquor store…

@WendyLiebman

For Halloween my husband asked me to dress up as a nurse, cause that’s one of his fantasies: That we have health care.

@LeahTiscione

*makes snow angel motions in bed every morning tryna find phone*

@PlainTravis

The 3 types of Christmas movies:

1. Movies about Santa.

2.People being changed by the Christmas spirit.

3. Die Hard

@funnyordie

LIFE HACK: If a person is drowning, you can save their life by putting them in a bag of rice

@DaddyJew

I am ‘yay my plans to go out got cancelled’ years old

@TheTweetOfGod

The Alabama Supreme Court has blocked same-sex marriage on the legal grounds that it is 1953.