@funnyordie: The occupations on 'The Bachelorette' are getting out of hand.
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@Browtweaten: Brain: Great workout, here's some endorphins Me: Oh nice, I'll feel good for- Anxiety: It took you a full minute to figure out the treadmill buttons and I bet people noticed Me: ... that long
@ashleyaustrew: I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. No, not you. You. On the left. Other left. No. Jesus Christ, I'll do it myself.
@travisauruss: I think the closest I've come to playing romantic music at a girl's window is when I forgot to turn down "Eye Of The Tiger" at the drivethru