@TheBeerGuy73: The only time that I get sucked in bed is when there's a mosquito in the room.
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@McGrumpenstein: My doctor doesn’t like it when he tells me to disrobe and I say “you first, I’m shy.”
@__candypants: Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL.
@scorpicpanda: I only watch French tv shows so my dogs think I'm more cultured than I actually am.
@ObscureGent: [Antichrist emerging from the ground] *looks around* Oh, I see you’ve all been doing a good job without me.