if babies “fix everything” then why can’t they hold power tools
The only way an adult coloring book could help calm my stress is if it was somehow edible.
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They say being a hostage is difficult – but I could do that with my hands tied behind my back.
“africanized killer bees” are trending so it’s a good time to mention that Killer Bees are literally an escaped scientific experiment gone wrong, like in the movies
I want to die from natural causes like being murdered by a sunset.
Drake the type of nigga to get a wanted star in Grand Theft Auto, drive to the police station and turn himself in.
WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said ” I hate shoes”
As his name is not “Biggest Bird”, we are to understand that Sesame Street is home to at least one, perhaps more, truly immense unseen birds
“Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?” I mumbled into the tv remote.
Just saw a ‘Jesus 2020’ sign and I had no idea he was running
*Holds door for woman
*Slams door in her boyfriend’s face