@Tmoney68

The part in Temple Of Doom where she reaches in the hole full of bugs, but me reaching into a pot of cold water in the sink to grab a fork.

You Might Also Like

@bogadafet

*puts on sports bra*
Well, that’s enough exercise for today…

@SadieSkyNinja

Does it sound ridiculous? Yes. Did I get a sports injury from eating too many tacos? Also yes.

@LoveNLunchmeat

I’m generally an honest person, but if you ask me when I last washed my hair, I will lie like a rug, a rug that hasn’t been shampooed in 6 days.

@Jamberee13

Angel: So the sins are deadly.

God: Yep!

Angel: So like, do you die if you commit one?

God: Well, no.

Angel: So why call them deadly?

God: It’s like *waving arms* spooky, you know?

@loribuckmajor

Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms.

@Jake_Vig

HER: [walks in wearing lingerie] See anything you like?

ME: I don’t think that will fit me.

@ObscureGent

I don’t care how much it rains, I’m not getting on a sex animal boat with a guy named Noah.