@dafloydsta: Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys.

@iamjeffsloan: I'm so progressive, I lock the car doors when white people walk by.

@murrman5: I got fired today "what? why?" no idea "you have no idea?" nope "I'm confused when did this happen?" between pre break break and break

@Book_Krazy: Mom, I'm glad April Fools is on a wkend. Kids at school are jerks Me:*Hiding a plate of waffles drenched in olive oil* yeah people are mean

@EFFFFFFYOU: Report - Sharks have difficulty finding work 51 weeks every year.