@agathagotstoned: The plane starts going down. I say, "If we die, know that hat is hideous". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: 50 Shades of Grey is also the title of the 101 Dalmatians alternate ending where Cruella wins and makes a coat out of the puppies.
@johnlevenstein: My goal when I go to a friend's house for dinner is to befriend the dog to the point its loyalty is tested.
@AshGriffoTv: Hate it when I push the button at the traffic lights and someone pressies it after me. Do you not trust me or something? Was my press not good enough like
@Gupton68: It’s one of life’s cruellest jokes that just as your kids reach an age where they’ll allow you to sleep through the night, your bladder hits the age that says, ‘no you won’t!’