The problem with speaking the truth is..

..you assume others do too

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captions that need to die:

“so i did a thing”
“today was ok” –a photo of a situation that is clearly more than ok
“he’s alright I guess”


That’s the last time I follow some dude into the woods just because he tells me he’s a wizard.


Judge: how do you plead?

Guy: well usually to my wife

Judge: haha I feel ya brother, bailiff please fist-bump the defendant


If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, he was probably really freaked out when we started


My 4yo just asked me if I was there when we went to Disney 6 weeks ago for 5 days, so I’m obviously making a huge impact in her life.


The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.


Historic moments in rap.

Jay W [username taken]
Jay X [username taken]
Jay Y [username taken]
Jay Z


Most people don’t know this, but the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they lost their damn minds.