@kelkulus: The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth.
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@moose_chocolate: I bet a cool thing would be to play musical chairs using toilets and call it "Game of Thrones".
@bridger_w: My greatest fear about not having children is that I might miss out on certain life experiences, such as getting caught in a bitter custody battle
@Home_Halfway: DATE: What do you do for a living? ME: I create makeup kits DATE: Oh that's so cool ME: Yeah, I'll put one together for you DATE: Aww you're making me blush
@stevevsninjas: HIM: I'm having a shit first day at my new job. Can I crash at your place? HER: Sure. What's your new job? HIM: Airline pilot.