@kelkulus: The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth.
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@marlespo: My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits.
@NikiWithIssues: It's okay when Pac Man runs all over the place eating pills and claiming ghosts are after him but when I do it I'm "crazy."
@chrissyteigen: Does the baby have access to my ribs? It feels like they're bars and she's an old timey prisoner with a tin mug
@simoncholland: What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch? He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.