@joshgondelman: The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.
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@ch000ch: date: where did u get that, i don't see that on the menu me: (biting into my corn on the cob) i bring my own corn on the cob
@BoomBoomBetty: Me, hands in the air: woo! SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS. My doctor: *rips up prescription she just wrote for codeine cough syrup
@Jake_Vig: THEM: What's it called when you think about them all the time? ME: Love. T: What if it's about murdering them all the time? M: Also love.
@1CleverGirl1: 3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid.