@InkedUpKidder: The safest place to stand when I hit a golf ball, is directly in front of me..
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@elvisknievil: If you ever need 15 minutes of peace and quiet from texting, tell her to send a selfie.
@MatCro: "Pete's coming for dinner tonight." "Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?" [Massive thud] "I'll just check."
@kiel_phillips: JELLYFISH: *to friend* Want to see something disgusting? Watch this. *stings person* FRIEND: That wasn't dis... JELLYFISH: Wait a minute.