@2tickytacky: "It got weird, didn't it? " *Leaves on a pogo stick.*

@LanieLalaBugs: You know what really makes me smile? Fascial muscles.

@pleatedjeans: [approaches outdoor cafe holding balloon w/face drawn on it] Hello table for two ple- [large gust carries balloon away] OH NO MY WIFE

@TheAlexNevil: At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think "I wish I could be a shark".

@dumbbeezie: I want a job waking people up that I dislike. Or I guess I could just get married