@Adar79Angie: The security camera at work has "too many instances" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And "any amount" is "too many." According to HR.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MauriceBlitz: I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't.
@YUCKYBOT: "Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop." "I'm a cop." "So you're a cop AND a gun dealer? Random, but okay let's do this shit"
@KeetPotato: me: "no ill just have it here thanks" bartender: [looks at my wife then back at me] wife: "on the rocks means with ice keith"