@jctwritesstuff: The war on Christmas? Yeah, I started it. But in my defense, maybe Santa warns a person before his home invasion and I don't take him out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DrakeGatsby: Just watched the first half of Goodfellas, and it’s great. Being in the mob looks super fun, can’t wait to watch the second half where I assume the good times continue to roll.
@Holy_Mowgli: PRIEST: the child is inhabited by the same evil spirit we crossed paths with! CHILD [demon voice]: DON'T END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSSESSION
@Tommytoughstuff: [High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? "No" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!
@ArfMeasures: Her: The world is gonna end in 30 minutes!!! 30 MINUTES! Me *ordering a pizza* yeah this will be tight, for sure