my wife preps for bed with a routine of reading, aromatherapy & no screen time
i prep for bed by only sleeping 3 hours the night before
You Might Also Like
“What’s your name?”
“I am Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi to Drogo’s riders-”
*Starbucks barista quits on the spot*
What is a ‘sexual prime’ and can I get it on Amazon?
Girls love mysterious guys. For example, tell her “Im a lawyer.Or AM I?” then hum the Twilight Zone theme and turn into an eagle
ANDY: I clarified your butter.
ME: Ghee! Thanks!
Cashier: your total is only 4 bucks
Me: *taking back the 5th deer* whoops, my bad
A nation cheers as Bigfoot is finally found. “We just yelled his name,” said the head explorer. “Can’t believe no one thought of that.”
Wow! This Child Actress is All Grown Up, and You Won’t Believe How Much She Hates Your Obsession With What She Looks Like Now:
Boss: You took another 2 hr lunch. Were you drinking?
B: Tell me our company policy
M: Lol, I can’t even do that when I’m sober
If you hold a baby up to a light and don’t see the security strip it’s a fake baby