@GianDoh

The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.

You Might Also Like

@velvettusk

If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield’s, I’d probably shit my pants.

@aissalanis

Whatcha eating over there? It sounds crunchy.

Hannibal Lecter: Doritoes

@debon7

*blows perfect Jesus fish with cigarette smoke*

@squirrel74wkgn

[at movie theatre]

Wife: Shhhhhhhhhhh
Son: …
Daughter: …
Me (whispers): …it

@UnFitz

Dog: *sniffing tree for a long time*

Me: What was that all about?

Dog: “Urine: A Novel,” by Spot. I enjoyed it. Well-paced, interesting plot, good character development.

@TheAlexNevil

Many parents are faced with a daunting task during the quarantine: how to ground a child when we’re all grounded.

@shopkins776

Being an adult

Pros)You can eat anything you want

Cons)You can’t eat anything you want