If you held a gun to my head and forced me to choose Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man or Andrew Garfield’s, I’d probably shit my pants.
The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.
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Whatcha eating over there? It sounds crunchy.
Hannibal Lecter: Doritoes
*blows perfect Jesus fish with cigarette smoke*
[at movie theatre]
Me (whispers): …it
Animals that lose their tails visit the retail store.
Dog: *sniffing tree for a long time*
Me: What was that all about?
Dog: “Urine: A Novel,” by Spot. I enjoyed it. Well-paced, interesting plot, good character development.
Many parents are faced with a daunting task during the quarantine: how to ground a child when we’re all grounded.
Being an adult
Pros)You can eat anything you want
Cons)You can’t eat anything you want