Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: “Which God are we thanking again?”
You’re welcome 🙂
The woman at the table next to me has been whining and complaining about her boyfriend for the last 20 minutes.
I’m not even in the relationship and I’ve broken up with her 4 times in my mind.
You Might Also Like
lawyer: your husband said he wanted his body to be embalmed like an egyptian mummy
me: yes, I’ve abided by his wishes
lawyer: he meant for you to do it after he died
DTF (Down time finally)
Biden: this is takin forever and build-a-bear is gonna close soon
Obama: joe let me finish my speech or you’ll get no tv for a week
That escalated quickly
– Me to 4 unamused strangers on the Mall escalator.
Him: Tell me about yourself.
Just yelled “out of my way monsters!” at a flock of seagulls, so I’m done interacting socially for the day
So after my kids had been whining all day, I cheerfully told them: “I’ve got some good news, guys!”
They stop crying long enough to ask what it was but apparently telling them I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance wasn’t the news they were hoping for.
Interviewer: “Why would you make a good customer service representative?”
Me: “I’m good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.”
In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn’t understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym