@FlyoverJoel: The woman selling sea shells by the sea shore must have had a strong personal brand to overcome such a poor business model.
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@Chumpstring: COP: step outta the car ME: k COP: are u carrying any drugs ME: [a mousetrap is in my pocket] i don't remember but i do consent to a search
@TheAlexNevil: 7: Where are you and Mom going tonight? Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.
@aidanjsears: INTERVIEWER: so what makes you qualified to work at comcast ME: *shows up four hours later* INTERVIEWER: you're hired
@AimeeHelene1: *seductively slides hand along store shelf to distract you* *grabs last bag of Cheetos* *tucks, rolls, and runs away*