@Eatingmeals: The women at the club tonight are so unapproachable. Getting discouraged. Good thing mom is here to tell everyone what a super guy I am.
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@Playing_Dad: If God didn't intend for us to eat animals, he was probably really freaked out when we started
@Naked_Superman: Gin & Tonic: 91 calories. Banana: 105 calories. Choosing the healthy option: Priceless.
@bornmiserable: Guys who say there's a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties.