When you write lyrics as bad as “I got soul but I’m not a soldier” it’s important to repeat it exactly 10 times in a row so nobody misses it
The world is full of people who just need to hug a cactus.
You Might Also Like
Earth: Goodnight Moon
Earth: I said ‘Goodnight Moon’
Earth: Look, I don’t choose which days they celebrate
“The bond’s Name. James Name”
Pleased to… what?
“Bond Name’s the james”
Are you alright?
“Bames Nond’s having a stronk, call a Bondulance”
No, no, no, you don’t have to engage in a long explanation of why you’re single. We’ve spent five minutes together, I think I’ve got it.
Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces…
For example, I’m going to the liquor store and I’m scared that it may be closed…
Somebody spiked my ice water with 14 glasses of champagne last night
After going to the doctor for a routine check up, Kermit the Frog finally finds out through an x-ray what’s really ailing him.
(Artwork: Joshua Kemble
A sequel to a time travel movie but it’s released before the first film
Active Yeast: Let’s make that bread fam
Inactive Yeast: Let’s stay in bed man
Stands at the gates of hell.
Waves to my mother in law.