The secret to sustaining a happy marriage is to keep the mystery alive. So tonight I decided to clean something unexpectedly.
The worst is that a 27 y/o who wanted to marry Charles Manson & charge ppl to see his corpse had more of a future financial plan than we do.
You Might Also Like
Policeman:”Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen.
Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir
You guys, The Hobbit is a straight-up ripoff of my unreleased 3-hour experimental film “Helicopter Shots of People Walking.”
*Parents admiring their new baby*
She has her mother’s eyes!
And her father’s nose!
And her drunk uncle’s motor skills!
The opposite of isolate is yousoearly. Please don’t block me.
For the umpteenth time- no, I can’t count
6-year-old: Why do I have to share a room?
Me: It could be worse. Harry Potter slept in a cupboard under the stairs.
6: Yeah. By himself.
“open up, this is the police!”
“well, I’ve felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I’m sad all the time-”
“no the door open up the door”
me as a therapist: I see what you’re saying. *starts writing something down for you* here, there’s an episode of Naruto that I think would be relevant and extremely healing for you,
“Hey, long time. Wassup?” should be auto-corrected to “Dude. Can you do me a favor?”