@jakob_huber: The worst part of Aquaman's day is when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
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@heysarahsweeney: Me pre-milkshake: Oohh! I'm gonna have a milkshake! Me post-milkshake: I feel like hell and wish I were dead.
@davedittell: the boss hands me a gun, "you know what to do." I nod. outside, I frantically google: boss gun why how to kill is killing ok regift gun ok
@sucittaM: I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy".