@trevso_electric: The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
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@david8hughes: Time traveller: I'm from the future Me: prove it *he pulls out next weeks newspaper* Me: nice try, they've already invented newspapers
@perlmutations: I personally endorse our president going to war with North Korea. Not our military of course, just the president.
@TheBoydP: All I'm saying is never ask a bald man if he remembers something off the top of his head.
@Prof_BrianCocks: "14 years, £20 billion later and my team have finally finished building a Large Hadron Kaleidoscope." "You mean Collider?" "Oh shit!"