@PinkCamoTO: The yogurt was so far back in the cooler at the store, I almost ended up in an Aha video.
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@AndyAsAdjective: "any ideas?" let's tie a bunch of helium balloons together & then hold onto the strings "whoa whoa whoa, let's not get carried away"
@KandyKoehn: construction worker: [pulls lever to pour cement out of truck] me: [tumbles out instead] i accidentally ate all your sidewalk pudding again
@bourgeoisalien: Fun prank: tell your kid World War II ended by the Americans dropping an F-bomb on Japan. Then later when his teacher calls, act shocked.
@Brianhopecomedy: A guy that was falsely imprisoned for 10 years got free tickets to the Super Bowl. That guy is SO lucky.