I’m so cultured I’m practically yogurt.
ME: Ring ring. I gotta take this.
THEM: I just watched you say “ring ring.”
ME: Ring ring. Yeah, this is really important.
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A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.
It should be: “COVID-19 declared a pandemic by WHOM.”
Her: You know what turns me on? Adventurers who survive adversity.
Me: Once I got lost inside my duvet cover and thought I was going to die.
Him: I’m a big Star Wars nerd.
Me: Oh yeah, name one ewok.
Whenever I see someone posting a picture with a celebrity, I comment: “Who’s that next to you?”
Deep down, we’re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
ODE TO TWITTER
🎶Twinkle, twinkle little star,
How I wonder where you are,
Twitter changed you to a heart,
I don’t think they’re very smart🎶
[Lady is being robbed]
“Help, Social Media Man!”
[Social Media Man swoops in & creates a facebook page called Mugging Is Bad]
Me: Will you-
Me: Can you-
Me: Are you-
Hubs: Oh no
Me: Oh hell no…..
Communication is important.