Them: Say something in Japanese!
Me, put on the spot, (In Japanese): Momentarily, the local train bound for Tokyo will arrive on platform 2. Please stand behind the yellow warning line.
Them: Wow! What does it mean?
Me: It’s an ancient Japanese proverb

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HOST: Welcome to “Die or Get Killed” the game show that no one survives

ME: Glad to be here, Mort


[first day as a pilot]

control tower: what are your coordinates

me: I’m by a cloud that looks like a lion

control tower: can you be more specific

me: simba